Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have. Show up on your wedding day with an attitude of gratitude.
This week, as I cleared my thanksgiving plate surrounded by close friends and family, it was hard not to feel appreciative of the blessings in my life. From the smallest things (cranberry sauce from the can anyone?) to the biggest bounties, (a healthy baby girl being traded from the arms of one loving grandmother to another) having time to take stock of the good things in our lives is essential, and I feel fuller for it (as if you can be any fuller after a plate piled high with turkey and seven sides of carbs!).
As wedding planners we often get asked about what it’s like to deal with “Bridezillas”. Fortunately we haven't seen this phenomenon at Clark & Kelly because we are invested in attracting couples interested in meaningful, intimate weddings that feature simple (but impactful!) design. When I think of bad bridal behavior, I don’t believe that there’s a specific type of person, or celebration, that is predisposed, but I do think I’ve figured out what quality those well-known reality TV monsters share: Thanklessness.
A “Bridezilla” isn’t grateful that her guests spent hard earned money and vacation time to travel to her wedding. She doesn’t appreciate the untold hours each vendor spent hand-crafting custom elements for her approval. She doesn’t respect her friends who have come to witness this moment in her life, and who most certainly spent the better part of a year aiding her in dreaming up ideas and nailing down decisions. She doesn’t understand that she is lucky to have found someone to take her hand, while many people are spending their lives searching. She doesn’t thank the feet that carry her, the spine that supports her, or the healthy heart that beats in her chest. A Bridezilla sees the world through a lens of what is taken, what is missing, and what is scarce, all while she is surrounded by bounty.
Planning a wedding is undoubtably overwhelming and stressful at times, but we'd like to remind you to take pause to appreciate the love surrounding you on your wedding day. The following are tips to help attune your attention to the joy present at this time.
Feel The Love
Whether you have 40 or 400 guests, try to feel thankful for each one. Every person you invite is uniquely connected to you and that deserves attention. As you make your way down the aisle, walk slowly, and take the time to make eye contact with your guests. When you speak your vows, feel the room listen to the promise you make.
Eat The Food!
After spending months tailoring a menu for this occasion, please take the time to sit-I repeat sit-and eat. If anything, you'll need the fuel to supply the energy required to keep you dancing until those wee hours.
Dance Like Everyone is Watching
Being fully present is important, but taking yourself out of the moment to see things from a different perspective is equally valuable. Stop what you’re doing and survey the room. Take a few minutes to delight in the enjoyment of your guests. Remember, you won’t get these people together again.
Honor The Blessing of Love Between You and Your Partner
This celebration was designed to recognize the love you share, so don’t lose each other in the shuffle. Smile, and mean it. Hug and kiss. Sneak away to steal a private moment and kiss some more.
When you settle on feeling thankful, you won’t be able to feel stressed about the kinks that pop up on wedding day. You will be full of gratitude and completely present in the moment. Best of all, you won’t be featured on television in the midst of a Bridezilla meltdown!
Thankfulness is a choice and a daily practice, so just like every other preparation for wedding day, begin early and revisit often.